hidden scar

there is a child in my heart
who is hidden in the dark

you opened my heart
found her
and taught her how to love

the girl walks out the door
and now she is revealed to the world

but everytime you had to leave
she discovers loneliness she has never felt before

this part of her is hidden
not even you can reach it
this part that is alone and scared

everytime she sees you
the loneliness fades a little
but it comes right back when you leave

she misses the comfort
she wishes to be protected

but this feeling can only be hidden.

so much hurt
so depressing
old ladies and gentlemen
shiny eyes
is this world all about money

doing things my own way
dont care what everyone else thinks

people are too blind to see what who they really are

sometimes you dont know why you do things
you just feel like it

saving the kids
don't want them to lose their innocence.

Can't wait to die.

Dear God,

kill me.
Like, right now.

It's weird how mental shit can effect you physically
I was feeling very sick of life and suddenly i felt like throwing up

If it were up to me,
I'd choose to die right now.
But it's not my choice to make.

What is important?
What is not?
I'm losing it.

when someone you respect
is not the person you thought he was

when someone you expect will stand by your side
turned his back

when you really want to cry
and you tell yourself,
it's not worth your tears
and when you cried
without knowing why you did

when you tried really hard,
but everything turned out like crap

when you just don't care anymore
but everyone is expecting so much from you

when you just wish someone would understand
or at least ask about what's going on in your life

when people assume they know who you are
when they think they know so much about you
when they know nothing

when the only person you thought sees the world through the same perspective as you
disappeared

when someone you loved hated you

I piss on them
I treat them like shit
one by one they walked away
I don't need them anyway.

don't fuckin' care anymore
it's too much
it's too much
for me to take

take me away
away from here
away to a place far away
to a place where no one can find.

I'm trapped inside this body
the body that won't stop weeping
there's a hole in my eyes
and it keeps on running

do you hear the dolphins cry
hear that? crying
not fuckin' singing, they're crying.
just hoping someone will know that.

you want me to be great, you say,
but you're holding me back.
I feel like I'm locked in a birdcage
with no space to spread my wings and nowhere to fly to.
how the fuck can i be great if all you do is trap me inside my cage?
i don't know how to fly yet, you say.
well how the fuck can i learn if you never let me
all of your assumptions are pissing me off
you want me to be great, you say,
but from what i saw lately,
you've been dragging me down.
how the fuck can I be great
if you don't let me to.

Everyday
I pretend
that everything's alright

I look fine
confident
but inside I'm dying

What no one sees
there's a hole in my heart
it's silently crying for help
wishing for an ear to hear

don't make me face the reality
time is slipping away from me
I ran and ran but I can't reach it
maybe when I'm here time will freeze
in this place
my comfort zone

please
turn off your mouth
my ears are hurting
please stop talking
my brain is hurting
let me out of here
it's compacted
compacted...

When did this happen
everyone started worrying about what others think
the children...
innocent...
ignored the stares
dance like a child
the music is in the air
stop thinking...
move to the music
ignore...
ignore...
ignore...
dance like everyone else is gone

in a manger
in the little town of bethlehem
a baby was born
the shepherds in the fields
heard angels singing up on high
and the magi came from the east
followed the bright start
to come to worship the new born king

let's sing the song
sing the song of life
it's sad
it's happy
it's angry
it's calm
it's dark
it's bright
let's sing the song of life

I have came to the realization that:

..... Life is a piece of artwork, admire it.

..... Life is a game, play it.

..... Life is a TV show, watch it.

..... Life is a problem, solve it.

..... Life is a story, tell it.

..... Life is a song, sing it.

..... Life is a stage, perform your best.

Conclusion: Enjoy life.

maybe you have forgotten about me,
but I will remember you.
I still remember how we met.
I remember how when I first saw you,
I know I will always remember you.
it's funny how things work out.
I mean,
I never thought I'd be the person I am today.

and I sit here
thinking
what has become of me
I change a little each day
everyday I'm a different person

looking down
I'm at the top of the world
everyone is tiny
I'm at the top of the world
I can see you
I'm at the top of the world
but you can't see me
I'm at the top of the world
I sing my last song
at the top of the world
and dance my last dance
at the top of the world
I take a deep breath
at the top of the world
and I take the final leap
from the top of the world

down...

down...

down... I go.

I close my eyes
and let gravity draw me towards the ground
I wonder,
am I doing the right thing?
The old memories are coming back to me
the laughters, the tears
I wonder,
is anyone going to miss me?
I never meant to hurt anyone
I don't want to hurt anyone
and i keep on falling

down...

down...

down... I go.

good-bye, world.
thanks for nothing.

stop complaing,
you ain't the only person that's going through crap

shut the fuck up.

when was it that you stopped caring?
when was it that loneliness knocked on my door?
when was it that my mind started going blank?
when was it that i stopped thinking?

the lost soul
alone
in the dark
weeping
her heart scarred

the lost soul
alone
in the crowds
smiling
insides she cries